Effective Communication with Management
“He doesn’t understand me at all” is what my colleague said, as she fell back in her chair earlier this week. She has mixed feelings about management in general. They are busy with meetings but have no clue what we actually do; asking them anything will never result in clear or workable answers; their well-meant new ideas are only an extra burden to our already overflowing workdays. Relations between employees and their managers are not always positive. Many of the clients I speak to do not have the best of memories and experiences with their direct management.
Friction between a manager and their team member can easily arise. Some managers can be too demanding, others are somewhat narcissistic, and there are those who are short of temper when things are not going well. However, blaming the manager does not always justify it. Often it comes down to insufficient communication.
Talking to your manager may feel daunting, but it does not have to be. What makes it different is the approach. Just striking up a conversation because you wish to explore an idea that you have, will most likely, not end in anything constructive. The basis for success lies in proper preparations.
Preparation
It is important to determine what you wish to accomplish when the meeting is over. What do you need and expect from your manager? Write this down. This does not need to be a lengthy description but it is important to have a concise idea, request etc. Jot down the supportive arguments. Make it clear what your part will be and what will be required from others. It does not have to turn into an essay, but by formulating your idea, problem or request, it will be easier to convey it to your manager.
Appointment
Schedule your meeting. Managers, as my colleague loves to point out, are busy with all kind of important activities. Walking in and asking for a moment to speak might work to your disadvantage. Interrupting someone will increase the chance that your manager will be thinking about his or her other tasks. Give the other party a fair chance to offer you his or her full attention by planning a moment later that day or, if necessary, that week.
Express Yourself
Make sure you say what you wish to say. Do not expect the other party to read between the lines. Unsaid things are often the cause for miscommunication. No one can read minds, even in relationships, it is necessary to speak up when things are not going the way you would like them to go. It would be unfair to expect such a skill from a manager – or anyone else.
Ask Questions
Communicating is a two-way situation. When answers given by your manager during the meeting remain vague, address those too. Ask questions to clarify what it is he or she tried to convey.
Keep It Concise
Brevity is not that difficult when you have prepared yourself. Consider the following:
May I ask you something? My son has been feeling awful this entire week. He’s been awake most of the nights crying and moaning. I took him to see the doctor. It was nothing serious. But it does mean I haven’t had much sleep either this week. On top of it, my car broke down on my way home from the general practice. So I haven’t had the time yet at all to do the groceries for this weekend’s birthday party. Could you perhaps help me out by doing the groceries?
By the time the main request becomes clear, the listener will most likely be lost in all the details that have been offered.
Rambling, while thinking about what arguments to use, will make it difficult for the other party to keep track of what it is you are trying to convey. All that remains is a vague request your manager will most likely reply with a generic answer.
This is what had happened to my colleague. When I asked her to recount what had turned the meeting into a disappointment for her; I got a lengthy and detailed version of what had happened. The story was longer than the meeting had been. By the time she had finished, I was none the wiser.
Communicating with managers does not need to be difficult. It may seem daunting, but with proper preparations, that feeling can be diminished. And, at the end of the day, a manager is just a person like anyone else and who speaks the same language as you; they just happen to have a different position. Do not let that discourage you from meeting up with your manager and openly discussing what is important to you.
Written by Cecile Koster for Together Abroad
Sources:
Bannink coaching: https://www.banninkcoaching.nl/hoe-communiceer-je-assertief-met-je-leidinggevende/
Management support: http://www.managementsupport.nl/persoonlijke-ontwikkeling/nieuws/2013/01/hoe-maak-ik-sneller-duidelijk-wat-ik-wil-1011793
The balance careers:https://www.thebalancecareers.com/communication-skills-list-2063779
MT: https://www.mt.nl/management/omgaan-lastige-manager-alles-communicatie/537412